Cafe, Staff Drama

Barista Reads Coffee Pro Blog Post, Confused That Espresso Tastes Bad

An espresso shot brews into a glass cup.

  This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.   By Colton Kirby   NEW YORK, NY— Over the weekend, eager new barista Freddie Stapp read a blog post by a former world barista champion regarding extraction percentages and TDS numbers. Heavy with the knowledge that his cafe was failing to utilize, Stapp showed…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Mystery

Barista Unwittingly Pulls Fabled “Devil Shot”

An espresso shot pulls into a white cup in a dim atmosphere.

  By Sam Stoothoff   SALEM, MA— A local cafe was enveloped in a shroud of darkness early Wednesday morning when barista Erin Valor pulled what baristas across the world know as the “devil shot.”   According to reports, onlookers heard a deep, sickly, rumbling voice described as coming, “from the deep,” and being, “profoundly upsetting.” Patrons we talked to…

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Education

Study Shows 97% of Baristas Laugh at the Term “Cupping” the First Time they Hear it

A person in a black shirt pours the water for a cupping.

  DAVIS, CA— A new study released by UC Davis’s Coffee Campus this morning shows a shocking trend: an average of 97% of baristas laugh at the term “cupping” the first time they hear it.   According to the report, the term “cupping,” which coffee professionals use to refer to a simple and standardized immersion brew used for assessing quality,…

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Green Coffee, Inspiring People

Post-Coffee Farm Visit, Barista Finally Understands How Difficult it is to Pick Coffee

A coffee tree with some red cherries and some green.

  JACKSONVILLE, FL— Barista Maria Alexie recently came back from her first-ever trip to a coffee farm, and according to sources, she now “really gets” that it’s difficult to pick coffee and is “so impressed” by what farmers do.   “Whenever I would hear green buyers talk about working with producers on making sure to pick only ripe cherry, I…

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Entrepreneurship, New Products

New Water Additive Allows You to Brew Coffee With Water

A droplet of water falling into a pool, all tinted purple and orange.

  MELBOURNE, AU— Entrepreneur and three-time Australian barista champion Stephen Volpe recently announced the launch of a new water additive that will “finally make it possible to brew great coffee with water.”   “As many of you know, coffee is 98% water,” he told reporters in a recent press conference. “So the water matters. But right now, the water we…

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Cafe, Customer Service

Barista Struggling to Dial In Concludes Grinder is Being Weird Today

A person grinds coffee into a portafilter.

  This piece is dedicated to Weihong Zhang, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.   By Jorge Gadala-Maria   WASHINGTON, DC— After a gallant attempt to dial-in on Monday morning at a busy downtown DC cafe, barista Lindsey Nowles concluded that the coffeehouse’s high-end grinder was simply “being weird” today.       “It could be the heat and humidity,…

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Coffee Events, Inspiring People

Home Barista Suffers Burns Due to Beautiful Glass Decanter

A pourover sits atop a glass decanter full of hot coffee on a wooden table in front of a window.

  By Jákó Haraszti   BUDAPEST, HU— Local home barista and coffee shop goer Kovács Józsi suffered first degree burns this morning due to his beautiful glass decanter, which still looked great compared to the plastic alternative that would not have burned him.   After a merry and successful dinner party, Kovács broke out his full coffee setup to pin the…

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