RICHMOND, VA— Everything came to a halt at one Richmond cafe this morning as barista Terry Kyler made his coworker take a super cool picture of him throwing a latte so that it looked like he was using the force. “I really didn’t want to do it, but he just wouldn’t take no for an answer,” said barista…
SALT LAKE CITY, UT— Disaster struck this morning at a local cafe as barista Joe Green found out he did not get promoted to assistant manager and was subsequently super salty. Green had applied for the promotion the previous week, only to be passed up in favor of coworker Jill Yee, who currently works as a shift lead. “I think…
This piece is dedicated to Michael Boyette, Patreon supporter and my uncle, whose coffee is the best. PHILADELPHIA, PA— This week, one barista’s uncle made headlines when he won the Northeast Regional Barista Championship using Folgers and his trusted Mr Coffee. “I work at a third-wave coffee shop. I know what good coffee is supposed to taste like. But when…
SAN FRANCISCO, CA— The Fourth of July was ruined for the crew of one local cafe when an overzealous guest wearing an Uncle Sam outfit walked around the shop for several hours calling all of the baristas and customers snowflakes and yelling the lyrics to “She’s a Grand Old Flag.” We got on the scene to investigate and…
If you needed another reason to grab a mug of your favorite morning brew, a recent study has found that coffee has the ability to very slightly improve your penmanship. The study, which researchers are hailing as just one more proof that you should drink coffee as much as possible, showed that people who had at least two…
This piece is dedicated to Nathanael May, one of our first Patreon supporters, to whom we are forever grateful. WASHINGTON, D.C.— A joyous day was had by all at one D.C. cafe last Saturday when several local patrons brought their dogs—all of whom were service dogs, not just pets—along for their weekend latte. All throughout the long summer…
SEATTLE, WA— Local coffee shop owner Shawn Jameson misses the days when he was “just a barista.” Jameson purchased his small coffee shop eight years ago, wanting to own his own space and run a shop the way he envisioned. Now, almost a decade later, he misses the days when he was “just a barista” with no extra…
This piece is dedicated to Daria Whalen, a most excellent day one Patreon supporter whom we will cherish eternally. PHILADELPHIA, PA— This morning, an accidental ass-touch shook things up at a popular Philadelphia coffee chain when barista Amanda Baimer turned around with her palm outspread for a low-five and instead received a heaping handful of ass. “It was…
If you’re enjoying The Knockbox, please donate to our Patreon to help us roast the coffee industry seven days a week. Coffee lovers across the United States and beyond were severely bored today as one popular hyper-niche coffee satire website ran an incredibly boring PBS-style pledge drive in order to guilt casual enjoyers of the site into pledging…
This piece is dedicated to Mat North, our first ever Patreon supporter whom we will always cherish. Eternal shoutouts. OKLAHOMA CITY, OK— Baristas at a local shop were in for a surprise when new patron Donald Mullen, who at first seemed much like any other cafe customer, made sure to let them know that because he used to…