CARRBORO, NC— Local singer-songwriter Jack Hammond had a religious epiphany this week while playing a show at an empty cafe. “It was 5pm on a Thursday, and I was just there, singing in this empty cafe,” Hammond told our reporters this morning. “And I was like, who am I playing for right now? Why am I doing this?…
Author: RJ Joseph
Food Journalist Writes Uninformed Coffee Article
Earlier today, nationally-renowned food journalist Russ Dewitt published a controversial article on the specialty coffee industry. The piece, which criticized specialty coffee shops for charging too much for coffee, consulted no specialty coffee professionals or coffee farmers, included no apparent research into the subject at hand, and was, in fact, based on almost nothing.
Family-Owned Cafe Launches New “Dying Wage” Project
A small, family-owned Erie cafe is changing how people think about compensation in the coffee industry. In what they’re calling the Dying Wage Project, they have made a public pledge to pay each of their nine employees as little as is legally allowed, even knowing that over time, this will erode their mental and physical health, leave them no safety net in the event of emergencies, and, essentially, slowly kill them.
Debate Sparks After New Hire Poses Hypothetical Iced Cappuccino Order
This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. By Eric Dong KAILUA-KONA, HI— Chaos broke out at a local cafe today after new hire and ex-Starbucks employee Gabriel Scott posed a hypothetical scenario in which a guest orders an iced cappuccino, sparking a loud and heated debate. Although the conflict began mid-shift,…
New “Coffee on a Cop” Program Widely Misinterpreted
KANSAS CITY, KS— A national “Coffee on a Cop” program, launched last week, is being widely misinterpreted across the country. The program, intended as a national effort to foster goodwill and communication between police and their constituencies, allowed coffee lovers to come to some of their favorite local coffee shops and have a police officer buy them a…
Blends Cool Again, Declares Coffee Pundit who Previously Declared Blends Uncool
This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. NEW YORK CITY, NY— Breaking news coming out of Manhattan today as renowned coffee consultant, entrepreneur, roaster, and five-time regional barista champion Allen Eisner declared blends to be “cool again.” Mr. Eisner was also the person who had previously declared them “uncool,” and “so…
New Cafe Lets You Cuddle and Adopt Adorable Vampire Bats
HONOLULU, HI— You’re probably familiar with cat cafes, but this week, a brand-new concept has emerged with the launch of Honolulu’s beautiful new bat cafe, which allows guests to cuddle with and even adopt adorable vampire bats. With a concept this original, we had to check it out for ourselves. We flew to Hawaii to attend the soft opening,…
Coffee Cocktails: the Next Four Loko?
ATLANTA, GA— The Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement this morning warning New Years party-goers to refrain from mixing coffee and alcohol, a combination which they warn could be dangerous, even deadly. “Remember Four Loko?” said CDC communications director Mark Leary. “Coffee cocktails follow the same principle. You can’t mix uppers and downers—it’s known to…
Inspiring Cafe Donates all X-mas Day Proceeds to Charity, Makes Workers Come In
KNOXVILLE, TN— This Christmas, one inspiring cafe set a shining example by donating all Christmas-day proceeds to the American Red Cross. We hit the scene to investigate and get a little taste of their true holiday spirit. The cafe was all a-bustle with customers in from all over town to celebrate and donate. The air was laden with…
Mom Uses New Pourover Once, Reverts to Keurig
MORRISTOWN, NJ— According to recent reports, local mom Mary Schooner used the new pourover drip cone given to her by her son Michael once, before reverting to her tried-and-true Keurig. “It was a really nice gift,” she told the Knockbox. “Really, I love it!” Nevertheless, reports say, she used it once, while Michael was in the room,…