By Matthew Helms
SEATTLE, WA— Two local baristas, Val Zelane and Nat Mitchell, have launched a GoFundMe campaign on behalf of cafe customer Brad Dolan who, they said in an interview with The Knockbox, “clearly needs his own office space.”
When asked what inspired the longtime coworkers to spearhead the fundraiser, Zelane replied, “The guy is here eight hours a day. Every. Single. Day.”
“He usually just orders a mug of drip,” Mitchell added, “Which, for three dollars, includes one in-house refill. He can nurse those two cups for like, four hours.Then he’ll come back for an additional refill, which costs a buck. And if he’s really working long hours, he might spend one more dollar on another refill to get him through to closing time.”
Zelane admitted that Dolan has been a “mostly pleasant” customer, but she said it became clear after several months of running his consulting business out of the busy cafe that he didn’t have anyplace else to do his work.
“The day I realized it had gone too far,” Zelane stated, “Brad had a big whiteboard up on the bar and was drawing a pie chart on it while simultaneously talking really loudly on a Skype call. A few hours later he held three back-to-back meetings at the round table up front, and that’s when Nat tripped on his extension cord and lost a couple of lattes.”
“It was a power strip actually,” Mitchell clarified, “where he was charging four or five devices. I think one of them was a printer. Luckily no one was hurt when I stumbled. But it was a big fucking mess for sure.”
“We get it,” Zelane stated. “Office space in the city is expensive. Add electricity, internet, heat and air conditioning, toilet paper… you know… all the stuff he gets here for free, and it adds up fast. That’s why we’re hoping that the generosity of the community will yield enough to get him out the door and into an appropriate workspace where he won’t be distracted by the goings-on of a bustling, high-volume cafe.”
The Knockbox reached out to Mr. Dolan for comment via email, but only received an “out of office,” autoreply message in return. We will update this story as more information becomes available.
If you laughed, support The Knockbox with a monthly donation through our Patreon.
Matthew Helms is or has been a woodworker, actor, barista, trail runner, and writer. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife and daughters, their beloved chiweenie, Lulu and handsome cat, Mochi.
