Roasting

Macho Roaster Lifts Entire Bag of Green Coffee, Hurts Back

A floppy bag of green coffee weighing 150 lb lies on a pallet next to other green coffee bags.

  BOSTON, MA— Local roaster Kent Dunney is out of work this week after lifting an entire 154 lb bag of green coffee and hurting his back. Our reporters visited Dunney in his apartment, where it was immediately clear that he had been binging Netflix’s newest releases and eating takeout during his recuperation. He seemed in good spirits considering the…

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Cafe, Customer Service, Staff Drama

Cafe Customer Receives Serious Shade After Joke About Why He Won’t Tip

A tip jar with a few dollars in it sits on a brightly lit counter.

  SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Local customer Brian Dean received some serious shade today after making a joke about the fact that he didn’t intend to tip—a fateful decision which would permanently alter the course of his week.   When Dean went to get his morning coffee from his usual shop, he was feeling especially gregarious. While being rung up, he…

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Cafe, New Products

Ambitious Barista Proudly Unveils New Tamper, Drops it and Ruins Base

A hand holds a tamper just after using it to compact espresso grounds before pulling a shot.

  CINCINNATI, OH— This morning, ambitious barista Sarah Metcalf proudly showed coworkers the expensive new specialty tamper she had custom-purchased online, just before dropping it on the floor and ruining the base.   Metcalf, who has worked as a barista for three years and describes herself as “very passionate,” purchased the new tamper (a tool that compacts espresso grounds before…

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Coffee Events, New Products

New Coffee Beer Launches, Tastes Okay

A tall glass of dark beer sits alone on a long wooden counter in a well-lit bar.

  PORTLAND, OR— This weekend in Portland, two local companies joined forces to create a new coffee stout. This union presented an occasion for excitement in the local coffee and beer communities and was feted at a launch party this Saturday. Knockbox reporters hit the scene to see what the buzz was all about.   Event attendees had a lot…

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Cafe, Staff Drama

Staff Meeting Drama Comes to a Head as Barista who “Never Sweeps” Says that Everyone Else Never Sweeps

A man with tattoos on his hands covers his face in consternation. He's wearing a blue flannel shirt.

  SAN DIEGO, CA— This weekend at one San Diego cafe, drama exploded as the barista who “never sweeps” raised a complaint about no one else ever sweeping.   According to witnesses, the staff meeting was progressing as planned, the necessary announcements having been dispatched, until individual members of the group were invited to bring up issues. Maura Jackson, who…

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Cafe, Customer Service

Conflict Brews as Barista Explains that Macchiatos are “Actually” Really Small

A macchiato in a white cup sits on a white sauces on a wooden table. It has a dollop of foam on top and is about 3 ounces.

  SEATTLE, WA—When graphic designer and coffee lover Karen Jones went into a specialty cafe this morning, she was in for a surprise. After ordering a macchiato, Jones was told by on-shift barista James Melman that macchiatos are “actually” super small.   Trying to convey the gravity of the situation, Melman used his fingers to demonstrate the size of the beverage…

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