Cafe, Customer Service

Broke Barista Coincidentally Very Nice Today

A smiling barista in a white chef shirt with brown hair and facial hair leans against a bar next to an empty coffee grinder.

  By Sam Stoothoff   This piece is dedicated to the ever-excellent Morgan Russell, our Patreon supporter whom we appreciate.    ATLANTA, GA— Local barista Sean McAllister has been greeting everyone with “unusual warmth and compassion for the entirety of his shift,” according to reports. In a completely unrelated coincidence, he also happens to have run out of money until his next…

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Coffee Events, Inspiring People

Barista’s Uncle Wins Regional Coffee Championship Using Folgers and Mr Coffee

A red coffee mug with a Folgers logo on a wooden table next to a notebook that says 2018 goals.

  This piece is dedicated to Michael Boyette, Patreon supporter and my uncle, whose coffee is the best.   PHILADELPHIA, PA— This week, one barista’s uncle made headlines when he won the Northeast Regional Barista Championship using Folgers and his trusted Mr Coffee. “I work at a third-wave coffee shop. I know what good coffee is supposed to taste like. But when…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Customer Service

Fourth of July Ruined When Dude in Uncle Sam Outfit Walks Around Cafe For Hours Calling Everyone a Snowflake

A tired-looking person with long blonde hair and clear glasses sits at a wooden table with a pink notebook in front of her, with a string of lights and some leaves in the background.

  SAN FRANCISCO, CA— The Fourth of July was ruined for the crew of one local cafe when an overzealous guest wearing an Uncle Sam outfit walked around the shop for several hours calling all of the baristas and customers snowflakes and yelling the lyrics to “She’s a Grand Old Flag.”   We got on the scene to investigate and…

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Coffee Events

Geisha Wins Cup of Excellence Competition

Bright red coffee cherries with green leaves in the background.

  By Robert Galbraith   After four grueling days of tasting, winners were announced at this year’s Cup of Excellence competition yesterday afternoon, with seven of the top ten spots held by the much-celebrated Geisha variety.   “We all cheered and gave each other high fives when we heard a Geisha had won. That it also went on to take…

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Cafe

Cafe Owner Misses Being “Just a Barista”

A man sits at an outdoor cafe at a wooden table typing on a laptop. He has brown hair and a beard and is wearing a gray suit.

  SEATTLE, WA— Local coffee shop owner Shawn Jameson misses the days when he was “just a barista.”   Jameson purchased his small coffee shop eight years ago, wanting to own his own space and run a shop the way he envisioned. Now, almost a decade later, he misses the days when he was “just a barista” with no extra…

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Cafe, Staff Drama

Accidental Ass-Touch Shakes Things Up In Philadelphia Cafe

Two dark-haired women laughing together in front of a window.

  This piece is dedicated to Daria Whalen, a most excellent day one Patreon supporter whom we will cherish eternally.    PHILADELPHIA, PA— This morning, an accidental ass-touch shook things up at a popular Philadelphia coffee chain when barista Amanda Baimer turned around with her palm outspread for a low-five and instead received a heaping handful of ass.   “It was…

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