Coffee Events, Education

Food Journalist Writes Uninformed Coffee Article

People sit in chairs reading magazines and discussing.

Earlier today, nationally-renowned food journalist Russ Dewitt published a controversial article on the specialty coffee industry. The piece, which criticized specialty coffee shops for charging too much for coffee, consulted no specialty coffee professionals or coffee farmers, included no apparent research into the subject at hand, and was, in fact, based on almost nothing.

Cafe, Coffee Events, Education, Inspiring People, Mystery

New Barista Miraculously Dials In Espresso Despite Forgetting Extraction Theory

A barista looks in wonder at the shot he's pulling.

This piece is dedicated to Weihong Zhang, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. By Josh Rank DUBUQUE, IA– New hire Stephan Grant was shocked to find the espresso he had been dialing in didn’t taste like hot garbage despite having zero recollection of extraction theory. “It’s amazing,” said Grant. “It’s truly like Perger was watching over me.…

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Coffee Events, Inspiring People

Pomeranian Takes Best In Show at US Barista Championship

A Pomeranian on a white background.

  By William Tanzarian   In a stunning turn of events, a Pomeranian named Wigglebutt has won the US Barista Championship. The four-year-old pure-bred bested many season barista competitors in its first year of competition and now moves on the World Barista Championship later this year.   Wigglebutt’s victory was decisive, with many spectators stating the route was “as moving…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Inspiring People, New Findings

Louisville Barista Wins Nobel Prize for “Literally Leaving No Room”

A person pours coffee from a glass carafe into a white coffee cup.

This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we appreciate. By Cody Barnhart LOUISVILLE, KY— In what scientists have called “a masterpiece of surface tension,” Louisville barista Jennifer Guevara was recently awarded the 2018 Nobel Prize in Physics for “outstanding advancement in regard to science’s understanding of coffee particle distribution and beverage surface tension.” Some might marvel at…

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Coffee Events

New “Coffee on a Cop” Program Widely Misinterpreted

A police officer in a bike helmet with a coffee.

  KANSAS CITY, KS— A national “Coffee on a Cop” program, launched last week, is being widely misinterpreted across the country.   The program, intended as a national effort to foster goodwill and communication between police and their constituencies, allowed coffee lovers to come to some of their favorite local coffee shops and have a police officer buy them a…

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Cafe, Coffee Events

New Cafe Lets You Cuddle and Adopt Adorable Vampire Bats

A small fuzzy brown vampire bat sits on a white table.

  HONOLULU, HI— You’re probably familiar with cat cafes, but this week, a brand-new concept has emerged with the launch of Honolulu’s beautiful new bat cafe, which allows guests to cuddle with and even adopt adorable vampire bats. With a concept this original, we had to check it out for ourselves. We flew to Hawaii to attend the soft opening,…

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Coffee Events, Inspiring People

Slurp of Excellence Finalist Sets Record for High Decibel Cupping

Golden cupping spoons in a rinse cup on a wooden table.

  By Chris Kornman   DUBLIN, OH— Unconfirmed news breaking from Dublin, Ohio, today where Q-Grader and self-described “power-slurper” Keith Underwood has set an international record for the highest recorded cupping slurp level at 128 decibels.   In total, three of the top five cup tasters logged sounds at or above the previously established record of 122 in last year’s…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Customer Service, Inspiring People

Inspiring Cafe Donates all X-mas Day Proceeds to Charity, Makes Workers Come In

A cappuccino with Christmas lights around it.

  KNOXVILLE, TN— This Christmas, one inspiring cafe set a shining example by donating all Christmas-day proceeds to the American Red Cross. We hit the scene to investigate and get a little taste of their true holiday spirit.   The cafe was all a-bustle with customers in from all over town to celebrate and donate. The air was laden with…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Mystery

Modular Espresso Bar Functioning Normally

A suprised person with long dark hair and red lipstick.

  This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.   By Sam Stoothoff   BROOKLYN, NEW YORK— After several years of continued maintenance, baristas at a popular local cafe were astonished to find their modular espresso machine functioning exactly as an espresso machine should.   Instead of a steam wand not functioning or water…

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