Coffee Events, Inspiring People

Home Barista Suffers Burns Due to Beautiful Glass Decanter

A pourover sits atop a glass decanter full of hot coffee on a wooden table in front of a window.

  By Jákó Haraszti   BUDAPEST, HU— Local home barista and coffee shop goer Kovács Józsi suffered first degree burns this morning due to his beautiful glass decanter, which still looked great compared to the plastic alternative that would not have burned him.   After a merry and successful dinner party, Kovács broke out his full coffee setup to pin the…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Inspiring People, Latte Art, Staff Drama

Barista No One Likes Brings Own Tamper, Pitcher to Latte Art Throwdown

A barista with a brown apron tamps an espresso shot.

  SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Last night at a local latte art throwdown, barista Thomas Chin brought his own custom tamper and milk pitcher to make sure he could “truly demonstrate his best work.” In a perhaps-unrelated coincidence, no one likes him.   “The tamper has razor-sharp edges to prevent channeling, and I also got my initials engraved on it,” he…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Customer Service

Chaos at Cash-Free Cafe After Internet Down for 15 Minutes

A barista in black speaks urgently to another barista out of frame at a white and wood cafe. A customer in black waits at the counter and the cafe is full of other customers.

  OAKLAND, CA— Chaos erupted during the morning rush at a local cash-free cafe after the internet went down and stayed down for fifteen long minutes, preventing baristas from making any formal transactions.   “It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” said customer Sarah Walabi, looking past me as she spoke. “The line was out the door and the…

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Coffee Events, Education, Green Coffee, Inspiring People, New Findings

At ASIC Conference, Science Experts Strongly Recommend Measuring Shit

white-gloved hand using a microscope.

  PORTLAND, OR— Last week, the Association for Science and Information on Coffee (ASIC) held its 27th biennial conference in Portland and shone a light on several critical issues affecting the future of coffee. Overall, they say, we as an industry really, really need to start measuring shit.   “As an industry, it’s super important that we work at consistently…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Crowdfunds

Landlord Receives 30-Day Eviction Notice From Cafe Owners, Launches Crowdfund

A man in a dark grey suit sits at a wooden table holding his phone and looking at it.

  This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our most excellent Patreon supporter without whom we couldn’t do this.    SEATTLE, WA— In a shocking and heartbreaking reversal, Seattle landlord Mike Marcon of Marcon Properties has received a 30-day eviction notice from a cafe owner couple to whom he rents space. He needs your help to cover the gap.   Marcon got…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, Customer Service

Anti-Bias Training Teaches Baristas to Respect All Roast Levels

Students sit in a classroom, shown from the chest down, holding notebooks and pens.

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK— A local cafe chain is implementing a new anti-bias training program to teach baristas to respect coffees of all roast levels. While many are skeptical of the efficacy of anti-bias trainings, owner Helen Jones believes that it’s a necessary first step in eliminating bias not only in baristas, but in the wider community. “In third-wave coffee shops.…

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Cafe, Coffee Events

Vegans Protest Vegan Cafe for Use of Human Labor

A person with wavy brown hair yells into a red loudspeaker with animal rights stickers on it in front of a crowd.

PORTLAND, OR— This morning, a popular vegan cafe is enveloped in an angry horde of vegans protesting the cafe’s use of human labor. Fighting our way through handmade signs reading “End Vegan Hypocrisy” and “Stop Exploiting ALL Animals,” we got on the scene to investigate. “Humans are animals, too,” protester Eric Patton told us heatedly, pushing his blonde dreads out…

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Cafe, Coffee Events

Local Shop Shutters After Barista Accidentally Performs Perfect Close

A closed sign outlined in white and written in cursive on a glass door.

  By Chris Deferio   KNOXVILLE, TN— Concerned customers and townspeople are milling about in confusion and wonder this morning after Lenny Welker, the closing barista at a local espresso bar, accidentally performed the perfect close and realized that the shop could never open again.   Welker had been finishing the final item on the closing checklist when he realized…

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