A public cupping event in East London was shut down on Friday evening after a local resident misunderstood that a public cupping is a coffee tasting event—not a niche sex party.
Cupping Shut Down Amid Allegations of Indecency
Category: Coffee Events
Local Singer-Songwriter Plays Empty Cafe, Finds God
CARRBORO, NC— Local singer-songwriter Jack Hammond had a religious epiphany this week while playing a show at an empty cafe. “It was 5pm on a Thursday, and I was just there, singing in this empty cafe,” Hammond told our reporters this morning. “And I was like, who am I playing for right now? Why am I doing this?…
Food Journalist Writes Uninformed Coffee Article
Earlier today, nationally-renowned food journalist Russ Dewitt published a controversial article on the specialty coffee industry. The piece, which criticized specialty coffee shops for charging too much for coffee, consulted no specialty coffee professionals or coffee farmers, included no apparent research into the subject at hand, and was, in fact, based on almost nothing.
New Barista Miraculously Dials In Espresso Despite Forgetting Extraction Theory
This piece is dedicated to Weihong Zhang, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. By Josh Rank DUBUQUE, IA– New hire Stephan Grant was shocked to find the espresso he had been dialing in didn’t taste like hot garbage despite having zero recollection of extraction theory. “It’s amazing,” said Grant. “It’s truly like Perger was watching over me.…
Breaking News: Cafe Owner Just Pulled Into Parking Lot
This piece is dedicated to Weihong Zhang, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. By Josh Rank ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Breaking news. Story will be updated as events unfold. 4:33 P.M. Brenda Halbock, barista at a popular family-owned cafe, told reporters she saw a black hatchback pull into the lot. Yes, she’s sure it was a hatchback, but…
Pomeranian Takes Best In Show at US Barista Championship
By William Tanzarian In a stunning turn of events, a Pomeranian named Wigglebutt has won the US Barista Championship. The four-year-old pure-bred bested many season barista competitors in its first year of competition and now moves on the World Barista Championship later this year. Wigglebutt’s victory was decisive, with many spectators stating the route was “as moving…
Louisville Barista Wins Nobel Prize for “Literally Leaving No Room”
This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we appreciate. By Cody Barnhart LOUISVILLE, KY— In what scientists have called “a masterpiece of surface tension,” Louisville barista Jennifer Guevara was recently awarded the 2018 Nobel Prize in Physics for “outstanding advancement in regard to science’s understanding of coffee particle distribution and beverage surface tension.” Some might marvel at…
New “Coffee on a Cop” Program Widely Misinterpreted
KANSAS CITY, KS— A national “Coffee on a Cop” program, launched last week, is being widely misinterpreted across the country. The program, intended as a national effort to foster goodwill and communication between police and their constituencies, allowed coffee lovers to come to some of their favorite local coffee shops and have a police officer buy them a…
New Cafe Lets You Cuddle and Adopt Adorable Vampire Bats
HONOLULU, HI— You’re probably familiar with cat cafes, but this week, a brand-new concept has emerged with the launch of Honolulu’s beautiful new bat cafe, which allows guests to cuddle with and even adopt adorable vampire bats. With a concept this original, we had to check it out for ourselves. We flew to Hawaii to attend the soft opening,…
Slurp of Excellence Finalist Sets Record for High Decibel Cupping
By Chris Kornman DUBLIN, OH— Unconfirmed news breaking from Dublin, Ohio, today where Q-Grader and self-described “power-slurper” Keith Underwood has set an international record for the highest recorded cupping slurp level at 128 decibels. In total, three of the top five cup tasters logged sounds at or above the previously established record of 122 in last year’s…