KNOXVILLE, TN— This Christmas, one inspiring cafe set a shining example by donating all Christmas-day proceeds to the American Red Cross. We hit the scene to investigate and get a little taste of their true holiday spirit. The cafe was all a-bustle with customers in from all over town to celebrate and donate. The air was laden with…
Tag: coffee
Mom Uses New Pourover Once, Reverts to Keurig
MORRISTOWN, NJ— According to recent reports, local mom Mary Schooner used the new pourover drip cone given to her by her son Michael once, before reverting to her tried-and-true Keurig. “It was a really nice gift,” she told the Knockbox. “Really, I love it!” Nevertheless, reports say, she used it once, while Michael was in the room,…
Modular Espresso Bar Functioning Normally
This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. By Sam Stoothoff BROOKLYN, NEW YORK— After several years of continued maintenance, baristas at a popular local cafe were astonished to find their modular espresso machine functioning exactly as an espresso machine should. Instead of a steam wand not functioning or water…
Farmers Experimenting with “Money” Process Coffee
By Chris Kornman PIATÃ, BR— Deep in the high plateaus of Chapada Diamantina, in the heart of Brazil’s vast state of Bahia, Valentina Pereira Souza has cracked the code of an entirely new wave of coffee processing. “An agronomist told me that coffee processing equipment manufacturer Pinhalense invented pulped natural process in Mogiana years ago,” said Pereira,…
Cafe Regular Leaves Bad Review After Being ‘Tricked’ by Flavor Notes
This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we appreciate. By Jack Crisfield LONDON, UK— Coffee shop regular Robin Bellhouse left his favorite cafe a bad review on TripAdvisor yesterday after being recommended a single-origin filter coffee that was, according to Bellhouse, “deceptively advertised,” and “really a ripoff.” “I have popped in every morning…
Opinion: If The Barista Doesn’t Dump 8 Shots Before Serving My Espresso, How Do I Know They Care
By William Tanzarian Listen, I get it. I’m not just some customer who comes in and bastardizes all your hard work by adding loads of milk and sugar. Sure, I’ve never actually been a barista before, but I own a kettle and I grind my own beans at home, so I understand what it’s like to really put…
Barista Terrified for Life After Losing Distribution Screw
This piece is dedicated to Weihong Zhang, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. By Lanny Huang DETROIT, MI— At approximately 8:26pm last Sunday, sources reported that local barista Miles Thomas lost a distribution screw down the drain at the coffee shop where he’d just started working during a solo closing shift. “It happened so fast,”…
Millionaire Launches Kickstarter to Fund New Coffee Venture
SEATTLE, WA— Coffee millionaire Mike Newton announced the launch of a Kickstarter for his latest venture, a new roasting company that he says will be “super cool,” and “a game-changer.” Newton, who previously grew a successful roasting company that he then sold for millions, feels that launching his newest venture via Kickstarter will help get the project some…
Roaster Learns So Much Every Day (From Listening to Podcasts)
PORTLAND, ME— Local roaster Pete Lopez learns so much every day he roasts coffee—mainly from listening to podcasts. “I’ve been so grateful to be able to learn to roast. Since then, I’ve never stopped learning; every day, I learn so much.” Most of this learning, he says, is from listening to podcasts while he mindlessly roasts according to…
New Black Hole Mocha Perfect for Fans of Strong Coffee Who Also Never Want to Be Seen Again
By Camillia Nazanan CAMBRIDGE, MA— Coffee enthusiasts with the desire to witness spacetime twisting in on itself finally have reason to rejoice. A Cambridge cafe with a sizable student following has debuted its newest product, the Black Hole Mocha, which promises patrons the taste sensation and physics lesson of a lifetime. Our reporters rushed to the unveiling,…