This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.
By Caroline Robb
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO— After narrowly avoiding what could have been a mild inconvenience, customer Gil Clark was reportedly shaken after a close-call milk mix-up. We spoke to Gil and the barista from the local cafe where this small mistake almost occurred.
Clark recounted the terror of nearly having been served milk fat in his drink:
“I saw the barista reaching for whole milk—you can tell by the top, you know—and I mean I nearly jumped over the counter!” Clark chuckled, recounting his heroic morning moment despite not having given his milk preference in the first place. “I’m just… I’m just glad I caught it.”
The barista working at the time recalled the customer’s realization as both dramatic and confounding. When probed on his response to Clark’s exuberant relief, the barista recalled reflexively saying “Me, too,” despite not actually caring at all.
Researchers have yet to uncover a legitimate consequence of not being served skim milk.
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Caroline Robb is a writer and traveler living nowhere in particular.
