This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.
By Zack Lyman
ATLANTIC, IA— A small group of baristas in a coffee shop just outside a local mall are trying to shake things up in their coffee-traditional city.
“A few of us have been watching Instagram videos and following third wave hashtags online,” barista Samuel Eames told Knockbox reporters. “You know, really putting in the research of what is happening in specialty coffee. A couple years ago we introduced a rice milk latte, but now that the specialty world is so excited about the doppio trend, we wanted to get on it.”
Franklin Mendes, who works as a lead barista added that, “the wood we serve it on and the tiny spoon next to the seltzer water really puts the price range in the high 10 dollar value, which speaks to the value of our craft and the coffee itself.”
According to witnesses, the rest of the staff seems unsure as to why the spoons are so tiny and in which order they are supposed to drink the water and espresso. Reports add that whenever a customer asks questions about the new service elements, the staff responds with condescending laughter in order to discourage future questions, even going as far as mocking the customer’s ignorance aloud to “make an example of them.” And in this way, they hide their fear of the unknown.
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Zack Lyman is mostly known for performing stand up comedy. He has been added to the Black Listed Comedy list of “Comedians You Have To Watch”. His full length album “Sorry I Am Late” has found much success on Spotify. When he is not traveling you can hear his podcast cleverly named “Zack Lyman Podcast” with high level guest like Myq Kaplan (Netflix) and Brian Kiley (Writer For Conan). Also known for his quick jokes on his ever growing instagram @ZackLymanPodcast.
