This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.
By Caroline Robb
NEW ORLEANS, LA— David Lewis, long-time occasional coffee buyer at a popular neighborhood roaster, has always exhibited the highest standards for his take-home pick.
“It has to be the freshest,” he told Knockbox reporters in a press conference this morning. “If it came off the roaster 48 hours ago or more, I’m not bringing it home with me?”
Yesterday, according to reports from barista Shauna Greene, Lewis came in with a different request: coffee beans roasted in the future.
“He came in asking for beans from tomorrow,” she told The Knockbox, still perplexed by the inquiry. “I asked him what he meant by that, and he just said he wanted it really fresh and figured there was no harm in checking.” She recalled his insistence that she double-check in the back, but since she couldn’t leave the register alone, Greene directed him to their finest single origin—just roasted that morning.
“He looked a little disappointed, so I lied and told him that I’d set some aside for him the next time we did a roast like that. I don’t know what the hell he expected.”
When pressed about his rigorous quality standards, David was unable to provide additional reasoning for his particularity.
After purchasing a pound, as usual, he asked to have it ground for drip and is expected to return in a couple of months for his next bag.
Caroline Robb is a barista and contributing writer based in New Orleans.
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