This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we appreciate.
By Cody Barnhart
LOUISVILLE, KY— In what scientists have called “a masterpiece of surface tension,” Louisville barista Jennifer Guevara was recently awarded the 2018 Nobel Prize in Physics for “outstanding advancement in regard to science’s understanding of coffee particle distribution and beverage surface tension.”
Some might marvel at what science has now deemed a perfect pour, but she says she didn’t seek scientific greatness. “It was really the same as every other day,” Guevara told reporters in a press Q&A session. “A customer asked me for ‘no room,’ so I did what we all do: literally left him no room.”
A minute or so after Guevara poured the drink, she saw what she initially interpreted as the customer struggling to pick up the saucer on which his mug rested—a completely normal occurrence in the barista world when a customer asks for no room. She then noticed he wasn’t struggling, but rather completely awestruck—jaw agape, staring at his mug.
When she looked down at the drink, she couldn’t believe her eyes: the cup was truly and completely full.
The committee awarding the prize said this when we asked for further comment: “Truly all of us here at the Norwegian Nobel Committee can say that science’s cup runneth over with joy about this newfound discovery. We are honored to hand over this award to such an admirable young woman.”
Guevara’s cafe has not stated whether or not they will move the mug from its current location. They’re a little worried about breaking the tension. Scientists say there’s a risk of cataclysmic repercussions if they do—coffee just might spill everywhere if they try to pick it up.
Cody Barnhart spent so many days at his hometown coffee shop that they hired him to sell their coffee. Now he wants to do his part in making Knoxville a destination for great coffee.
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