By Chris Kornman
DUBLIN, OH— Unconfirmed news breaking from Dublin, Ohio, today where Q-Grader and self-described “power-slurper” Keith Underwood has set an international record for the highest recorded cupping slurp level at 128 decibels.
In total, three of the top five cup tasters logged sounds at or above the previously established record of 122 in last year’s annual Slurp of Excellence. The top prize includes an Aeropress, an engraved cupping spoon, and a voucher for an expenses-paid trip to origin with the sponsor, a coffee importer.
The Gesha variety, no stranger to high-scoring competitions, yet again established its prominence in the art form. Underwood’s record-breaking guzzler was a single-estate selection from Ecuador. Just 5 hectares in total—and only 400 trees of the Gesha—exist on the tiny farm, but clearly this small lot packed a mighty wallop in the cupping room. There is not currently a prize for the producer, though organizers say this is something they hope to address in future competition cycles.
“I feel like I’ve been training for this moment my whole life,” Underwood said in a prepared statement for the press. “Each sip of sweet bean juice brings me closer to Nirvana, and each decibel closer to experiencing the God Shot the way Mother Nature intended.”
Underwood has competed in three prior Slurp of Excellence competitions, but failed to place until this year. When asked about the future, Underwood told me he hopes to establish a charity to expand Slurp of Excellence style competitions to countries of origin, like Ecuador, where he travels annually to meet with his producer Maria Zambrano Ordoñez.
Sra. Zambrano did not respond to multiple requests for comment.
Like a good cast iron skillet, Chris is a seasoned roaster with at least one fire story. He lives in Oakland, California, where he teaches, writes, and researches about coffee and helps manage an improv theater.
If you laughed, support The Knockbox with a monthly or one-time donation through our Patreon or Cashapp.