This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we appreciate.
By Jack Crisfield
LONDON, UK— Coffee shop regular Robin Bellhouse left his favorite cafe a bad review on TripAdvisor yesterday after being recommended a single-origin filter coffee that was, according to Bellhouse, “deceptively advertised,” and “really a ripoff.”
“I have popped in every morning for three years,” Bellhouse told Knockbox reporters, clearly upset. “I always get a caramel mocha and fancied something different, so asked if they could recommend anything. Despite knowing my usual preferences, they gave me a ‘single-origin’ coffee that they said would taste like chocolate and caramel, but it didn’t taste at all chocolatey—it just tasted of coffee!”
When asked for comment, cafe owner Beth Mason sighed. “He asked for a recommendation, specifying that he wanted to try something different, so I explained that our batch brew was a single-origin Guatemalan coffee with tasting notes of chocolate and caramel. He showed immense interest and he subsequently bought one.”
We asked Mason about Bellhouse’s claims of being “tricked” by “cocky hipsters,” as detailed in his TripAdvisor report. “I did try to explain that the chocolate and caramel were tasting notes, but he was having none of it,” she told us. “He kept calling me a liar.”
As of press time, the review has tipped the shop’s overall TripAdvisor rating from “excellent” to “very good.”
Reports from an anonymous source say that as of this morning, Bellhouse now claims he may have “overreacted somewhat in hindsight” and plans to go back for his usual tomorrow.
Jack Crisfield is a barista and postgraduate student based in London, UK.
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