By Mat North
RED BANK, NJ— As word of a growing conflict over plant-based milk alternatives in one New Jersey cafe spread throughout the internet, the Knockbox hit the scene to investigate.
Over the previous week, a fight had broken out over the management’s choice of plant-based milk alternative, sundering the unity the formerly tight-knit team had once known, perhaps beyond repair. Staff members took to social media to voice their support for #teamoat, #soysquad, #almondrideordie, and many more.
We arrived to a noticeably tense atmosphere. Though the cafe was rushing, no music was playing and baristas were talking as little as possible. Even as we ordered neutral whole milk beverages, a fight broke out between the three baristas on staff, who seemed unable to maintain even the thinnest veneer of civility.
As barista Shayla Jackson tore off her apron in disgust and went on break, we were able to get a comment.
“At the last staff meeting, a lot of us wanted to change up our alternative milk, but we couldn’t agree on which one we wanted. The owner said we should talk it out over the week and then we’d have a vote. After that, things got really ugly.” She sighed. “I just don’t understand why we’re fighting. I mean, everyone knows that hemp milk is the most ethical and sustainable milk alternative, and don’t get me started on its amazing health benefits.”
According to Jackson, the vote would take place in three days, but she didn’t hold much hope of things returning to normal.
Her coworker Ravi Suresh, whom we were able to talk to as he angrily restocked the condiment station, said that each barista was bringing in their own milk to each shift. “I’m #soysquad until I die,” he told us. “It’s tried and true and I don’t have much patience for anything else at this point. But it doesn’t seem like anyone else is willing to budge either.”
Across the espresso bar, self-described “curmudgeonly veteran” Bryan Donohue shared his opinion on the matter. “To be honest, they’re all wasting their time. We should only be serving black coffee—it’s the only true way to experience terroir.”
We reached out to the owner, who refused to comment except to say that she was “too busy putting out this fire to describe it.”
More as the situation develops.
Mat North is a long term coffee professional. During his varied career he’s been unafraid of a challenge, like the time he tried to sell frappes and syrups to a WBC champion. He currently runs Full Court Press, a speciality coffee shop in Bristol, that is when he’s there and not volunteering with the SCA UK Chapter.
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