Due to long-known health risks and ever-increasing general expenses, more and more cafes are refusing to carry Splenda and other alternative sweeteners—a decision that may come with severe and unintended consequences. New research released by the Center for Disease Control this morning shows that not being able to get Splenda can make frequent users very, very angry.
“While the results may be shocking to many, they’re in line with our hypothesis and a significant, growing body of anecdotal evidence,” said CDC spokesman Sam Morello. “But the level of severity is beyond what even we thought probable.”
The study, which directly examined the effects of being unable to access Splenda in a simulated cafe setting over the course of several months, found that not only were Spenda users very angry about the situation to begin with, they remained angry and got even angrier over the course of the nine-month study period. Perhaps even more alarmingly, they were not appeased by offers of other artificial sweeteners like Equal and Sweet N Low, nor were they willing to adopt stevia into their routines.
“We recommend that cafes jettisoning their Splenda supplies go through deescalation training and implement a strong and specific anti-harassment program,” Morello told us. “Treat the situation as volatile, because it probably will be.”
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