Customer Service, New Products

Cafe Implements High-Velocity, Aerial Drink Delivery

A man looks with concern.

By Sarah Feeney This piece is dedicated to Velton Ross, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate. CHICAGO, IL— Following a spate of customer complaints about cold and missing drinks, local cafe and roaster has decided to implement a speedier coffee delivery system. Once the espresso has been pulled and perfectly-steamed milk painstakingly poured into the shape of…

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New Products

Coffee Bag Squeezers Aroma Wheel Coming Soon

Specialty Coffee Association Flavor Wheel

In a move to meet consumers where they are, specialty coffee officials have joined forces with scent scientists and random customers of some of the nations best roasters to design tool that will help people who squeeze bags to determine purchases a long awaited point of reference.

Cafe, New Products

Barista ‘Broken’ after Finding Favorite Beans in Local Supermarket

A grocery store sells gourmet snacks,

  By Jack Crisfield   LONDON, UK— London barista Alex Benn recently expressed disgust on finding that his favorite roaster’s espresso blend is now available for “mass consumption” in his local supermarket.   Benn, head barista of a notoriously successful coffee shop in Dalston, claims his spirit and faith in the coffee industry has been ‘broken’ in response to the…

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Entrepreneurship, Inspiring People, New Products, Roasting

Blends Cool Again, Declares Coffee Pundit who Previously Declared Blends Uncool

A wooden table with coffee beans spilling out of a white mug.

  This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.   NEW YORK CITY, NY— Breaking news coming out of Manhattan today as renowned coffee consultant, entrepreneur, roaster, and five-time regional barista champion Allen Eisner declared blends to be “cool again.” Mr. Eisner was also the person who had previously declared them “uncool,” and “so…

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Education, New Products

Mom Uses New Pourover Once, Reverts to Keurig

A teal cup of black coffee on a wicker table.

  MORRISTOWN, NJ— According to recent reports, local mom Mary Schooner used the new pourover drip cone given to her by her son Michael once, before reverting to her tried-and-true Keurig.   “It was a really nice gift,” she told the Knockbox. “Really, I love it!”   Nevertheless, reports say, she used it once, while Michael was in the room,…

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Green Coffee, Inspiring People, New Products

Farmers Experimenting with “Money” Process Coffee

Honey-processed coffee drying on a black drying bed.

  By Chris Kornman   PIATÃ, BR— Deep in the high plateaus of Chapada Diamantina, in the heart of Brazil’s vast state of Bahia, Valentina Pereira Souza has cracked the code of an entirely new wave of coffee processing.   “An agronomist told me that coffee processing equipment manufacturer Pinhalense invented pulped natural process in Mogiana years ago,” said Pereira,…

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Crowdfunds, Entrepreneurship, New Products

Millionaire Launches Kickstarter to Fund New Coffee Venture

Kickstarter logo on a blue-green background.

  SEATTLE, WA— Coffee millionaire Mike Newton announced the launch of a Kickstarter for his latest venture, a new roasting company that he says will be “super cool,” and “a game-changer.”   Newton, who previously grew a successful roasting company that he then sold for millions, feels that launching his newest venture via Kickstarter will help get the project some…

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Cafe, Coffee Events, New Products

New Black Hole Mocha Perfect for Fans of Strong Coffee Who Also Never Want to Be Seen Again

A charcoal latter in a black cup sits on a white table.

  By Camillia Nazanan   CAMBRIDGE, MA— Coffee enthusiasts with the desire to witness spacetime twisting in on itself finally have reason to rejoice. A Cambridge cafe with a sizable student following has debuted its newest product, the Black Hole Mocha, which promises patrons the taste sensation and physics lesson of a lifetime.   Our reporters rushed to the unveiling,…

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Entrepreneurship, New Products

New Water Additive Allows You to Brew Coffee With Water

A droplet of water falling into a pool, all tinted purple and orange.

  MELBOURNE, AU— Entrepreneur and three-time Australian barista champion Stephen Volpe recently announced the launch of a new water additive that will “finally make it possible to brew great coffee with water.”   “As many of you know, coffee is 98% water,” he told reporters in a recent press conference. “So the water matters. But right now, the water we…

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