Entrepreneurship, New Products

New Water Additive Allows You to Brew Coffee With Water

A droplet of water falling into a pool, all tinted purple and orange.

  MELBOURNE, AU— Entrepreneur and three-time Australian barista champion Stephen Volpe recently announced the launch of a new water additive that will “finally make it possible to brew great coffee with water.”   “As many of you know, coffee is 98% water,” he told reporters in a recent press conference. “So the water matters. But right now, the water we…

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Cafe, Customer Service, New Products

Coffee-Fetching Robot Disrupts Morning Rush

A white robot with a small smile looks at the camera.

  BOSTON, MA— This morning in a local university’s robotics building, a coffee-fetching robot disrupted service and severely pissed off several baristas.   Creators were thrilled and excited to send Caffbot, the new robot they’ve engineered to fetch their morning brew, on his inaugural mission down to their favorite cafe. However, the mission didn’t quite go as planned.   When…

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Cafe, New Products

Cafe Switches to Instant Coffee; Everyone Pleased

A hand holds a white cup of espresso on a white saucer at a wooden counter.

  NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK— A local cafe has switched its menu exclusively to instant coffee, to the reluctant but undeniable delight of baristas, customers, and management.   “I was really upset when I found out we were planning to switch to instant coffee, for obvious reasons,” lead barista Sloane Micheli told reporters. “I’m a barista because I like…

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Cafe, New Products

Cabbage Latte Desperately Tries to Become a Trend

A latte in a white cup sits on a round wooden table.

  SEATTLE, WA— This week in Seattle, a new drink is desperately trying to get noticed: the cabbage latte. Made by stirring a small amount of dried, ground cabbage into an espresso shot before adding milk, the cabbage latte really wants to happen, but it seems like no one gives a shit enough to even dignify this as clickbait.  …

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Cafe, New Products

Ambitious Barista Proudly Unveils New Tamper, Drops it and Ruins Base

A hand holds a tamper just after using it to compact espresso grounds before pulling a shot.

  CINCINNATI, OH— This morning, ambitious barista Sarah Metcalf proudly showed coworkers the expensive new specialty tamper she had custom-purchased online, just before dropping it on the floor and ruining the base.   Metcalf, who has worked as a barista for three years and describes herself as “very passionate,” purchased the new tamper (a tool that compacts espresso grounds before…

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Coffee Events, New Products

New Coffee Beer Launches, Tastes Okay

A tall glass of dark beer sits alone on a long wooden counter in a well-lit bar.

  PORTLAND, OR— This weekend in Portland, two local companies joined forces to create a new coffee stout. This union presented an occasion for excitement in the local coffee and beer communities and was feted at a launch party this Saturday. Knockbox reporters hit the scene to see what the buzz was all about.   Event attendees had a lot…

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