Cafe, Customer Service, Staff Drama

Barista With No Tattoos or Piercings Not Taken Seriously by Discerning Customers

By Matthew Helms 

BOISE, ID— When Johnny Morgan began working at an esteemed local cafe last month, his employers “could not have been happier” about their decision to hire the 22 year old barista. 

He arrived early for every shift, maintained a calm and pleasant demeanor with customers, and exuded a genuine passion for coffee which was reflected in the care with which he prepared pour-overs and the delight he took in dialing-in espresso and pouring beautiful latte art. 

There was just one problem. With no visible piercings or tattoos, Morgan simply wasn’t taken seriously by many of the cafe’s highly discerning customers. 

“He seems to know a lot about single origin coffees,” said customer and electrician Trevor Nesko, “But I can’t tell if he’s legit. He just… doesn’t have any tattoos.” 

“His latte art is on point,” said Wendy Beauchamp, a graphic designer and longtime customer, “But he looks like he just graduated from the Boy Scouts. Even a simple forearm tattoo would make me feel more at ease around him.” 

A few of Morgan’s coworkers spoke with The Knockbox on condition of anonymity. 

“We’ve recommended like, a dozen tattoo artists, but he shows no interest,” one told us. “He’s a super-competent barista, but if customers don’t trust him, it reflects poorly on all of us.” 

“A mustache would go a long way for his credibility,” said another coworker, “But I doubt that he can actually grow one. Maybe a man-bun? Anything would help.” 

Morgan told the Knockbox that he thinks customers should judge him by the quality of the coffee he’s serving, not by his appearance. 

“I have nothing against tattoos,” he added, “It’s just… I’m 22. I don’t know if I’m going to make the best decisions right now about what I want on my body for the rest of my life. That said,” he continued, “If I do get one, it’ll probably be a flower or a bird.” 

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Matthew Helms is or has been a woodworker, actor, barista, trail runner, and writer. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife and daughters, their beloved chiweenie, Lulu and handsome cat, Mochi.

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