By William Tanzarian
In a stunning turn of events, a Pomeranian named Wigglebutt has won the US Barista Championship. The four-year-old pure-bred bested many season barista competitors in its first year of competition and now moves on the World Barista Championship later this year.
Wigglebutt’s victory was decisive, with many spectators stating the route was “as moving as it was informational,” and “very floofy.” After the head judge inspected the pup’s teeth and genitals—rating them both as “exceptional”—Wigglebutt’s routine moved to the espresso course, a natural Panama Gesha from the esteemed Finca Colonialismo that expressed notes of stewed strawberries, meyer lemon, and toasted Milk-Bone dog biscuits.
Working at a brisk but intentional gate, Wigglebutt’s performance centered around her time at origin choosing the coffee she used in competition. Working so closely with farm owner Bradley Smith “was truly a life-changing experience,” the pom told Knockbox reporters. “Meeting the people behind such an amazing coffee, Bradley and his wife Elizabeth, really connected me to it. For the first time I truly saw that coffee is more than coffee—it’s about people. People like Bradley.”
Wigglebutt will now spend the next four months going through extensive grooming with new coach Pete Licata in preparation for the World Barista Championship. It is unclear if the Pomeranian will use the same coffee on the World stage, though. “I’d like to use one of those $600 per pound coffees and maybe freeze it or something.”
William Tamzarian is a to-go espresso connoisseur. He like it in a big cup with lots of ice and wants to know where you keep your cream.