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Blends Cool Again, Declares Coffee Pundit who Previously Declared Blends Uncool

 

This piece is dedicated to Umeko Motoyoshi, our excellent Patreon supporter whom we love and appreciate.

 

NEW YORK CITY, NY— Breaking news coming out of Manhattan today as renowned coffee consultant, entrepreneur, roaster, and five-time regional barista champion Allen Eisner declared blends to be “cool again.” Mr. Eisner was also the person who had previously declared them “uncool,” and “so second-wave.”

 

“I don’t think anyone has ever really given blends a chance,” Eisner told journalists at a press conference this morning. “No one has ever really done blends right. The truth is, if you source them well, they can bring a complex array of attributes that no single-origin could. They can be more than the sum of their parts, and I don’t think anyone has really explored that.”

 

Eisner also announced that he will be starting specialty coffee’s first and only “blends first” roasting company. “We’re going to reclaim blends from the dumpster of history and raise them to the promontory where I now feel they belong.”

 

When asked about the innumerable other roasters creating excellent, well-sourced blends, Eisner called an abrupt end to the press conference.

 

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About RJ Joseph

RJ Joseph is a coffee lover, roaster, writer, ex-bitter barista, and founder of The Knockbox.
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