New Findings

Coffee Cocktails: the Next Four Loko?


ATLANTA, GA— The Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement this morning warning New Years party-goers to refrain from mixing coffee and alcohol, a combination which they warn could be dangerous, even deadly.


“Remember Four Loko?” said CDC communications director Mark Leary. “Coffee cocktails follow the same principle. You can’t mix uppers and downers—it’s known to cause intoxication greater than the sum of its parts, leading to rapid blackouts and increased risk of harm.”


He warns that, as coffee cocktails gain popularity, CDC expects to see the incidence of harm caused by coffee cocktails jump: “Car accidents, hospitalizations, even fatalities. We want to get ahead of this before it becomes a national epidemic.”


He also warns party-goers to keep an eye on their drinks and make sure that they aren’t getting spiked with instant coffee, a trend that’s been on the rise for the last two years and is expected to accelerate exponentially this year with the increasing popularity of specialty instant coffees.


If you laughed, support The Knockbox with a monthly or one-time donation through our Patreon or Cashapp.



Tagged , , ,

About RJ Joseph

RJ Joseph is a coffee lover, roaster, writer, ex-bitter barista, and founder of The Knockbox.
View all posts by RJ Joseph →