Cafe, Customer Service

Communist Customer Doesn’t Tip Baristas Because Whole System is Fucked

 

NEW YORK CITY, NY— Communist coffee shop customer Mitch Dryden doesn’t believe in tipping baristas; according to him, “the whole system is fucked, and tipping only validates that.”

 

Dryden, who works as a bike mechanic, used to work as barista but doesn’t believe in tipping. “It’s not about people as individuals, it’s about the system,” he said. “It’s the capitalist employers who want to rip everybody off, and I’m not about to contribute to that.”

 

He believes that baristas’ individualism is a huge part of why baristas don’t make more money. “You can’t think only about yourself, you need to think collectively,” he said. “That’s what I’m doing. If I tip baristas, it only validates their capitalist overlords.”

 

We talked to baristas at the shop Dryden frequents to get their take on Dryden’s radical philosophy.

 

“The tall white guy who doesn’t believe in deodorant? Yeah, I noticed. I can’t stand that guy,” said Samuel Washington.

 

“I don’t care that much if you don’t tip, but don’t stand there and pontificate about it every time you come in,” said Angela Mendez, who usually works the morning shift at the time when Dryden comes in for his first cup of the day.

 

“I know my philosophy is too radical for many, and I don’t expect people to love me for it,” said Dryden, squinting heroically into the bright sunlight. “But I stand by my convictions.”

 

Servers from across the city corroborate that he does, in fact, stand by his convictions, even when dining out at sit-down restaurants with full table service.

 

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About RJ Joseph

RJ Joseph is a coffee lover, roaster, writer, ex-bitter barista, and founder of The Knockbox.
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