CINCINNATI, OH— This morning, ambitious barista Sarah Metcalf proudly showed coworkers the expensive new specialty tamper she had custom-purchased online, just before dropping it on the floor and ruining the base.
Metcalf, who has worked as a barista for three years and describes herself as “very passionate,” purchased the new tamper (a tool that compacts espresso grounds before brewing) in order to hone her espresso-craft. Taking it out of the box the previous day, she said, she was “super stoked to give it a test run.”
The tamper in questions has a special sharp edge for more consistent espresso, as well as a custom inscription Metcalf commissioned, which reads “Just Breathe.” Excited to pull her first shot with the new tool, Metcalf proudly showed it off to her three coworkers on shift, only to drop it on the floor, ruining its finely-honed base.
“It sucked,” said Metcalf, describing her emotional experience at the time of the incident. “Holy shit did that suck.”
Her coworkers were sympathetic and tried to hide their amusement.
“It was really funny,” said fellow barista Jesse Monde. “Like, I was kind of having a bad day, and when she pulled out the tamper, she was so stoked about it and it did kind of piss me off just a little bit. Like, why are you spending your money on this? Then, when she dropped it, I was trying so hard not to laugh.”
Other barista Mae Ocampo reports being unable to stifle a snort. “It was just so bad,” she said, after laughing so hard she peed a little during our interview. “It just sucked so much, I wasn’t even laughing because it was funny, I swear.”
At the time of publication, Metcalf has emailed customer service and is looking into a replacement. This story is still developing.
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